For some reason, every high school has the same people. Sure, we’re all kind of unique, but we can also be categorized into certain groups. Here’s what it would look like if parts of your skeletal system were kids from high school:
The Princess’s Sidekicks
The princess’s sidekicks are those girls that copy everything the princess does. They are the neck1 bones, or more scientifically, the cervical spine. Wherever the head turns, they turn. They support the weight of the head, comforting the princess in all of her insecurities. They protect the nerves that run from the brain to the rest of the body, shielding the princess from the gossip about her.
The Princess
Now, the princess acts like she is the head, ordering her sidekicks around, and she thinks she owns the whole body. But the truth is she is just the jaw, the mandible—all talk and no brains. She is the gears that keep the gossip churning, sending the gossip throughout the whole body and reminding everyone that she is the boss. At least that’s what she believes, and, sadly, she makes some other people believe it as well.
The Nice Jock
The nice jock is a rare breed. He is the thoracic spine or the upper back spine. He protects you. He brings everyone together. He connects to the ribs and supports the major organs of the body. Sometimes the nice jock is even in choir because he really is nice and doesn’t bully people who are different.
The Jock Who Cares Only about His Looks
This jock is the shoulder blades. He is strong, and that’s cool, but that’s all he cares about. And sometimes he can be mean just like the princess (who by the way is his girlfriend). He will sometimes pinch the nerves in the back and send pain shooting down the arm. But we need him. Otherwise we would never win a football game.
The Supportive Friend
The supportive friend is the sacrum (the lowest part of your spine just below the lumbar spine). She’s taking on everyone’s problems and is starting to feel the pain. She has a lot of friends because of the support she gives (the hip bones the lumbar spine); she’s surrounded. The sacrum wedges into other people’s lives, sometimes invasively, but she is usually welcome because she really is supportive.
The Class Clown
The class clown is the coccyx simply because of his location—the butt. And he truly is the butt of all his jokes. Most of his humor is self-deprecating, but he still supports the whole class by getting them through the day with laughter.
The Girl Who Gets Around
The girls who gets around is the pelvis—she’s curvy, all the boys want to be with her because they know she will, and she always seems to be in the right place at the right time if you know what I mean. But actions have consequences, and a baby might be sitting on top of her hips soon. Just you wait.
The Nerds
The nerds are the skull2 because they really do know it all. And they’ll do anything to protect their position as the top of the class. How is it possible that the nerd is fluent in so many different subjects? Well, the skull has 22 bones. And that’s how many things it knows everything about.
The Quiet Kid
The quiet kid is the lumbar spine because it is the one who seems to have the most pain. Call him whatever you want (quiet, depressed, a stoner) because he doesn’t care about you. He just wants to blast his music and stare at you with the force of 1000 ghosts.
The Choir and Band Kids
Did I save the best for last one purpose? Well, yes. The musical kids are the ribs. They always come in groups, they support each other, and, unfortunately, they are easy to break. Also, I’m pretty sure if you hit a rib hard enough it will make a sound.
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